Results

I was told the results would come in at 3pm. My stomach was in knots all day, I tried to nap because I was exhausted but couldn't sleep because my mind wouldn't shut off. Went to my eye doctor appointment at 2pm. Left there at 3pm and still nothing. No big deal, though maybe 4. But 4pm came and went, 4:30 came and went, as we approached 5 I started getting nervous. Why would they wait, why would I wait to call someone? bad news right? so of course I start thinking the worst. At 5pm I call and make sure they have the right number because maybe they called Joe Bob and he's confused, but no surprise they are already close, so I leave a message. I went and woke up Dave because I was getting flustered and needed him up...I was also starving. :) Once I start cooking dinner the phone rings.

My heart stops and I brace myself as I'm chopping up the meat in the skillet for our spaghetti. And the dreaded words I feared come out of her mouth: "I have bad news, I'm sorry to say it didn't work this time" I think she was bracing herself for a complete break down, emotional woman. I held it together, thanked her, asked a few questions, and then hung up. Then the tough girl act came crashing down. Luckily my sweet husband was right there to catch me and let me cry. So throughout cooking dinner I'm crying....who knows how many tears landed in the sauce. I probably cried several times within the 15 minutes of cooking. I am fine, seriously, but can't a girl cry? I knew the chances were small that it would work the first time, but all the symptoms, the exhaustion....I knew it could be the pills and it was, but that small amount of hope was there. I know in my heart this will happen and I know God has a plan, but I can still be sad. So if you are around me and I start crying, don't be surprised, don't freak out, I promise I'll be fine. My wonderful mother called and cheered me up and gave me a lot of encouragement. I love you mom! 

I know many of you, as well as myself, had high hopes. This isn't the end, we will try again. Nothing a shot of vodka and a glass or two of wine can't soften. Don't judge! ;) Also The Big Bang Theory and Whitney sure did help to make me laugh. I would only ask to keep the prayers coming guys. God has a plan and as much as I may not know HIS timing or reasoning, HE does and I will continue to be strong, faithful, and follow his path.