Well it's been awhile since I posted and a lot has happened but the big thing that touched me most....As most of you read in my previous blog we had to push the adoption back a year due to some orthodontic treatment I will be having this year. Well just when I was starting to really question myself, doubt our decision because EVERYBODY around us is pregnant with baby 1 or baby 2. It's really hard because we are no where close to even baby 1. I'm excited for everyone and most people don't really understand my feelings so I don't always share them one on one to most, but it was getting really hard. So I started second guessing myself and just questioning. I started doing this on lets say a Monday and Tuesday. Well on Wednesday I was in my car headed to one of my schools and I got a voice mail from our adoption agency saying that they had to extend the waiting list to 1 year due to various reason but they wanted to make sure we were fine with this and if not they would help us find another agency and refund our deposit. Now had we not already made the decision to wait this news would have been completely devastating BUT I laughed and smiled because to me it was God's way of telling me I did make the right decision. I knew it was really a message from HIM and it made my heart so happy. Thank you Lord!
Well I have some bad news. So here goes...When I was younger I was in braces for almost 10 years. Braces came off, teeth shifted right back and they said at that time I needed to have jaw surgery but the braces would have to go back on. I said heck no, it was senior year and I was done! They said it would have to be done at some point. We looked into it after we got married but then my eye surgery needed to happen and I think vision is a tad more important. :) So I started looking into it again a few weeks ago and was told yes I do need to have the surgery after all. I told them I needed to do it while I am off in the summer and they said if I got in braces NOW that I could have the surgery in late July early Aug. This requires about a week of recovery from work and a month of liquid, soft foods. I have one of the best orthodontist in the area and we are now looking at oral surgeons. However, insurance doesn't cover braces for anybody over the age 19, and I don't think I can pull that off anymore ;) so it's all out of pocket then on top of that the expense for surgery. Well to do this and then also have the expense of adoption...it just didn't seem smart. We're not comfortable creating debt with all the Ortho stuff and then on top of that adding debt for the adoption. But I also can't see myself doing the adoption and surgery second because seriously....I'm not going to want to chase around a toddler, infant when I'm in that much pain and that long of a recovery period, which means I wouldnt EVER get around to this surgery until I'm much older, and then the recovery would be 10X worst! So we sat down and discussed the options and it is, to us, the smartest thing to have this surgery which will help other issues I've been having, and get it as close to paid off as possible and then restart the adoption process late next fall.This was a very hard decision because I want a baby so bad, I want to be a mother so bad...but I also have to think of what would be the best move? Would bringing a child into our home with thousands of dollars of debt be smart? heck no! So it's with a sad heart that I must say that we are putting the adoption on hold for at least a year. I know it's going to be hard, because we were so close to starting the adoption process up and I'm so ready but instead I get braces next Tuesday and we start this other not so fun journey. There is a reason for everything and I know it will all fall in place in time.
Well this year has surely had it's up and downs. Been a busy year. I've been in my job now for a full year and am so glad where I am at. I love working with a school district, I love my kids and I love the support you can provide when you are there 5 days a week all day. This year we battled with infertility to the extreme. I started hormone therapy in Feb, acupuncture in April, in and out of doctor offices for the first part of the year. Then in July I told Dave I had had enough. I was tired of the emotional, physical roller coaster I had been on for the past year. We sat down and after many discussions and a lot of prayer we decided that we wanted to look into adoption. We were very excited to start this new journey and we both felt this is where the Lord was leading us. The first week of August we went on our honeymoon (finally) to Sonoma and Napa, CA. It was the most romantic, relaxing time for us and it was so needed and appreciated. We returned home to start looking for adoption agencies and to the start of the new school year. We finally found our agency in mid August and attended an orientation and CPR training in September. We've been on a waiting list since and should be getting off this list in January 2011. Dave, luckily, had Thanksgiving off this year since his normal days off happen to be on Thursdays. It was a true blessing to have him here and my family went out of there way to all travel from Oklahoma, San Antonio, and St. Louis to come to us and do Thanksgiving here at our house. Christmas was busy with both sides of the family but was great that we got to see and spend time with both of them. 2010 was a great year and we grew a lot this year and are excited for our new adventures. We look forward to see what 2011 will bring.
