So When are you due?

Well this post is for all those woman who get asked that question or something similar along those lines. I've gotten so use to it that it just makes me laugh. If I had a coach purse for every time I was asked this or "hows the baby?", "how far along are you?" ha I'd be one happy girl with a whole closet full of purses. Anyhow, I just want to let you girls know, no you are not the only one! I use to come home and cry because well this stupid thing called PCOS is partly to fault. One of the symptoms is the weight around the tummy area and the huge difficulty to loose weight and no this is not an excuse. Now everybody is different so this is not 100% across the board, however for a good amount of woman this is the case. I've had a doctor recently tell me (who didn't know my medical history or me for that matter) that for having PCOS I was in pretty damn good shape. She will never know how much that one statement lifted the stress off my shoulders. I will say I've had a personal trainer for several months several years ago, been on numerous legitimate diets, taken pills, tried crazy loose weight fast diets and NOTHING....NOTHING has worked. The only thing that did work was when I had my jaw surgery and was stuck on liquids for almost a month. If we don't get pregnant this summer I just may try that again. It is so frustrating to try and try and get nothing, then if you are in my boat and are trying and trying to get pregnant with no success and then get asked "when are you due?".....um hello why don't you just punch me in the stomach? It is hurtful, angering, but I also can't help but laugh because it's seriously something I hear more than you will ever know. 

This comes because today I was asked how the baby was by a very sweet teacher that I've worked with for several years. I just laughed and told her we were trying but not there yet. I try to keep it all cool and funny because my heart goes out for them. As soon as I say no, not yet, whatever it's like you see this "oh crap" look come across their face and my heart breaks because I KNOW they mean NO malice by it. Then I start trying to make them feel better and assuring them it's fine because they are just so apologetic. In all honesty, I'm kind of use to it. But after the miscarriage, it hits a tad harder, like I feel the breath escape but then my strength comes flying forward so I can offer sympathy to them. Maybe that's crazy, I don't know, but I don't want people feeling bad for assuming something...I know I look pregnant! I am perfectly fine weight/measurement wise everywhere else except my stomach. But this is the way it's been for years.

I also love how the fertility doctors use to tell me loose weight but we're putting you on clomid which will make you gain weight.  umm can someone tell them what's wrong with that picture? My hormones are crazier than you could imagine, the meds I am on totally whack out my body, and they want my body to respond like a "normal" woman and loose weight. Are you serious???!!! Luckily my doctor now hasn't said these things, he's a smart man. :)

My message is to not assume anyone is pregnant. Ask someone that knows the woman before asking the woman. You just never know if that woman has been trying for years to get pregnant and wants nothing more than to be pregnant but has not been able to get pregnant or if that woman just recently had a miscarriage or has had a baby and been working her tail off to loose that baby weight with minimal results. Please think before you ask. But also to those Woman in this position I would advice: don't take it personally, don't get angry,  understand they mean well and more than likely they ask in a very excited manner. Understand that as soon as they find out the answer to their question is "No" that they are going to feel so so so bad and try to make you feel better about it. It's a no win on either side. Keep your chins high and just move forward. That's all we can do....right?